i haven't been on here in 3 months, yet it feels like i've done nothing in that time. well i have this last week, i graduated from uni, its my 21st birthday tomorrow and i get my full license tomorrow, but apart from this last week, i haven't done anything but fuck myself around in the last three months. i get myself into situations that i hate with guys, i don't understand them, i can't understand them and i lose friends because guys are just fucked. i don't think i'm ready for uni next year, this year was hard enough to make attendance and its only arts. law will be completely different. i just wanna run away and be 14/15 again where nothing really mattered and i could drink to my hearts content and not feel like shit the next day. this month is crazy for 21sts. everyone is having parties and its always messy. i made a dick of myself on saturday night, total dick. and then somehow i got through work on sunday. god knows how i felt like i was going to faint the entire time. i dunno, things have changed the last few months, i feel isolated from my friends and its not like i don't have friends, i do, i just don't feel like i connect with them anymore, i'm confused about everything and i don't know how to say what i''m feeling or how to express myself i just feel different. i dunno. i think i need to just get away from it all.